Ready
by KaiaBlackrock
Summary: A speculative future fic in which Ziva wishes to return to the family that chose her after she finishes mourning the one she lost. A heavy father/daughter conversation, with Tiva at the end. Most likely AU, one-shot.


A/N: This is the first fan fiction I've ever written. I didn't even plan to write this one, but the combination of a beautiful photo edit posted on Tumblr by alyssinmymind and the section of the first chapter of "Like Breathing" by Taygeta where Ziva intended to go to Gibbs to find out whether Tony has moved on before facing Tony himself, sparked the idea and I sat down and wrote this in about an hour today. I haven't written an original story since high school English class more than 10 years ago, so please take it easy on me if it's terrible! (Constructive criticism is always welcome, of course.)

Disclaimer – If I owned NCIS, Ziva would be in an off-screen relationship with Tony here in D.C. instead of trying to find herself in Israel. Clearly, I have no say in what happens on the show.

When Gibbs opened his front door just after 9 p.m. on Friday night, he knew in his gut that the house wasn't empty. Nothing had been touched, the lights were off, and there was no car in the driveway, but he was certain someone was waiting for him inside.

Knowing that his visitor would be waiting in his basement, he made his way to the top of the stairs and flipped on the light. There, sitting on a sawhorse by his workbench with a mostly untouched jar of bourbon in her hand, sat Ziva David. It had been just over a year since she called him from Israel to let him know that she wouldn't be coming home, citing a desire to escape the pain and death that had surrounded her lives in both Israel and America.

Her head snapped up to face him as he made his way down the stairs. To the untrained eye, she appeared calm, but Gibbs could sense the slight nervousness his surrogate daughter was hiding under the surface.

She graced him with a small smile. "Hello, Gibbs."

Gibbs returned a half-smile as he studied her carefully from the base of the staircase. "Hey, Ziver. Here to visit?"

Ziva glanced down at the bourbon in her hand, but didn't take a sip. She blew out a long breath. "Perhaps." After a short pause, she continued, "Or perhaps longer. I was hoping you could help me… figure that out."

Gibbs cocked his head to the side and stared her down as he picked up a stool and moved to sit across from her. He poured a measure of bourbon into his coffee cup, and took a sip while he tried to determine what she needed from him. "I thought you wanted to make your own decisions this time."

She sighed. "I did. I mean, I do. But I just need… information, I guess, so that I can make the right ones."

He just nodded. "Go on."

Straightening her shoulders, she took a deep breath and began to explain the last year of her life to the only person she trusted for guidance. "After my father was killed, I lost the only thing I knew was permanent. We did not have the greatest relationship, I know that, but the fact that he was blood could not be changed. I know that you, _all_ of you, wanted to be my anchor, to be my permanence, but I was scared. I was afraid to believe that was real, that each of you would not be taken away just as quickly. So revenge became my focus, my direction, so that I would not be completely adrift."

She lifted the jar and took a big gulp of the dark liquor. "When it was over, after Bodner, after resigning, I realized I could not live with who I had become. I knew that all of you loved me, just as I loved you… but I did not feel I was worthy of that love. And I knew I could not have my permanence, I could not have the future I wanted with To-", she cut herself off abruptly, "the future I wanted here in America, until I figured myself out. And I had to do that alone. I wish my leaving had not been necessary, but it was the only way." She cast her eyes down, betraying the shame she still felt for running away to Israel.

Gibbs placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to look at him. "Did it work?"

Her eyes made contact with his only briefly, before darting away from the intensity of his gaze. "Yes, I believe so. I finally mourned for my family; my mother, my sister, my father, Ari…. I am finally ready to move on from my loss, to feel love again. But every day that I was mourning the loss of my blood family, I also mourned the loss of the family that chose me. I made peace with myself, and my past, but it is… lonely, when you realize that you do know how to love, but you have walked away from all of those that love you."

"Before he was killed, my father insisted that he did his work for Mossad in the hope that the world would be a safer place for his grandchildren. He died because he was trying to broker a deal for peace with Iran. I decided the best way to combat the death that filled my old life would be to find a different way to work for the peace that my family here in America deserves."

Her words slowed down as her voice began to shake, ever so slightly. "So I applied for a position with the State Department as a translator. Apparently, Director Vance gave me a glowing recommendation, so they've offered me the job. My current position would be based here, in D.C., but I have the opportunity to transfer if staying here would be too… difficult."

Gibbs moved to sit beside her on the sawhorse. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and gently kissed her temple as he pulled her closer. "What's difficult about it?"

Ziva sighed, and leaned heavily into his embrace. "When I left, I know that I hurt all of you deeply. I don't know if my family still wants me. I don't know if-", she choked, and continued more softly, "Tony still wants me. I cannot stay here in D.C. if they do not."

Gibbs wrapped his other arm around her and hugged her tight, letting out a heavy sigh. "Is that what you came here to find out?"

She nodded her head into his shoulder, hiding her face from him as she fought to keep her tears at bay. "Yes. I need to know if he has… moved on, before I can see him. I do not wish to burden him if he has found happiness without me."

He kissed the top of her head before pulling back and lifting her chin to make eye contact with her. He wiped a few tears from her cheek, and made sure he had her full attention before speaking. "He learned to function without you, but not how to stop loving you. Go."

She hugged him tight and gave him a kiss on the cheek before untangling herself from his embrace to stand. "Okay, I will call for a cab." She began to walk toward the stairs, before turning back to face him. "Thank you, Gibbs."

"Ziver." He gave her a pointed look. "Promise me you won't break his heart again."

She gave him a watery smile. "I promise. This is the only place I want to be, if he'll have me. I've missed all of you more than I can tell you." She started to turn toward the stairs.

"Hey." She turned and looked back to him in time to catch the keys he tossed to her. "Take my truck. No need to wait for a cab."

"Thank you, for _everything_."

"Go on, get out of here."

She turned the keys over in her hand and smiled to herself as she made her way up the stairs and out to the white pick-up parked in the driveway. After she hopped in and started the engine, she took a deep breath to settle herself before putting the truck in gear. "Now or never", she muttered to herself.

The drive to Tony's apartment was uncharacteristically slow for Ziva, as she spent the entire 20-minute drive trying to control the butterflies in her stomach. Her entire future hinged on what would happen when she arrived at her destination, and she was filled with both anticipation and fear. Her something permanent, a life with the man she had loved for 9 years, was nearly in her grasp. She just hoped that when she held out her hand to him, that he would take it the way she had always dreamed he would.

By the time she pulled up outside Tony's building, it was nearly 11 p.m. As she glanced up at his living room window, she could see the flickering light from the flat screen TV in his living room. She smiled to herself at the thought of Tony relaxing on the couch while watching a movie, relieved that some things never really change. Gathering her courage, she made her way to his door and replicated the characteristic knock he used on her door when he visited her apartment the summer Gibbs was in Mexico.

When the door opened, Tony's eyes were wide with a mixture of hope, love, and disbelief. "Ziva?" His hand twitched as he resisted the urge to reach for her and drag her inside.

She threw him the same radiant, close-lipped smile she used to send him over their desks in the bullpen during their partnership. She took a deep breath, and locked her eyes with his emerald green ones. "I am ready."

Tony blinked at that, and began to reach for her slowly. "Ready?", he breathed, hoping she meant what he desperately wanted her to.

She reached up to cup his cheek in her hand as she continued. "To come home… to _you_. For this, for us, whenever you are. If you still want me."

He tangled his fingers in her hair and dragged her to him for a kiss much like the one he gave her on the tarmac in Israel. They both poured everything they had into the kiss, their hopes, their fears, their love, and their relief at being reunited. When he started to get dizzy from the lack of oxygen, he broke the kiss and wrapped both arms around her, pulling her tighter into his embrace and burying his face in her hair. "Now, Ziva," he whispered in her ear, "I'm ready right now."

She leaned back and cupped his face with both hands so she could look into his eyes again. "I love you, Tony."

He titled his head down and rested his forehead against hers. There were tears in his eyes now, but he made no effort to hide them. "I love you too, Ziva." He took a deep breath. "Stay?"

She smiled up at him as she wiped a few fallen tears from his cheekbone with her thumb. Tears were streaming down her cheeks now, but she paid them no mind. "As long as you want me to. I promise."

He grinned as he dragged her into the apartment and shut the door behind them. "And if I want you to stay permanently?", he prodded.

She nodded, smiling so widely that her cheeks were beginning to hurt. "I'd like nothing more." With that, she leaned in for another kiss.

The kiss was long and passionate, but they were content to savor the moment; to revel in the fact that the other was real, that they were reunited at long last, and that they were both committed to staying that way. Neither ever wanted to let the other go again.

To Tony, nothing else mattered. He didn't care if she was coming back to NCIS or not, where she had been, or what had happened over the past year. Everything he needed was here in his arms, and he wasn't letting go again.

And neither was she. They were both finally _ready_.


End file.
